aving taught English to Speakers of Other Languages for over three years, I’ve begun to notice that everyone needs some grammar lessons.  Working in a bank for many years has made me almost physically regress to the fetal position from viewing grammatical errors in e-mails and presentations.  I am embarrassed by the mistakes executives make on a daily basis, while still somehow thinking they are the Oxford English Dictionary when it comes to correct English usage.  Here are some fun and, sadly, very real mistakes I have caught with regards to English usage.
            Can you find what is wrong with the following sentence?

Any defect fixes needs to be made.

            I’ll give you a minute…. Ok, enough time. It’s what many grammarians call a problem with SVA, also known as Subject-Verb-Agreement.  (I know some of you were thinking So Very Annoying, which it definitely is, but, alas, it means something else in this context.)
            What in the name of Jack Frost does Subject-Verb-Agreement mean? In the English language, every noun that acts as a subject can either be singular or plural.  A pen is singular, but pens are plural.  A verb must agree with its subject’s number.  So if you use a singular subject your verb had better agree with that singular subject, and the same is true if your subject is plural, for example, My pen is blue (singular pen) and My pens are blue (plural pens); or Jack likes ice cream (singular subject) and Rick and Amy like brownies.  This seems pretty basic; however, certain words or phrases complicate matters a bit.  “Any” is one of those words that make it hard for people to decide if a subject is singular or plural.
            The words any, each, each one, either, neither, everyone, everybody, anybody, anyone, nobody, somebody, someone, and no one (often called “quantifiers”) are singular and require a singular verb—the same verb you’d use if the subject were “he” or “it.”  Here are some examples:

            Any food is better than no food.
            Everybody dances funny when drunk.
            Nobody likes to get caught with toilet paper on his or her shoe.

            The verbs in each of these sentences are singular.  A way to check this is by substituting another singular noun for the “tricky” quantifiers and see if the verb changes.

            Bad food is better than no food.
            Jim dances funny when he is drunk
            Edith likes to get caught with toilet paper on her shoe.

            See, the verbs don’t change. The sentences are a little awkward, but the verbs don’t change.
            So, the example I’ve cited above that I found at work should really read:  Any defect fixes need to be made.
            Another thing to consider when it comes to SVA is the use of conjunction.  A conjunction is a word that links nouns or phrases or ideas.  The words and, but, or, and however are commonly used conjunctions.  When two or more nouns (or subjects) are linked with “and” in a sentence, then you have to use a plural verb (the same verb you’d use if the subject were “they”).  See the following examples:

            Brad Pitt and George Clooney cause me to melt.  (As opposed to Brad Pitt causes me to melt.)
            Johnny Depp and Gary Oldman are wonderful actors.
            Mascara and eyeliner make eyes come to life.

            If you use each of the above subjects on its own, without the “and” (e.g., just Brad Pitt without George Clooney), then you would use a singular verb.  But since you have an “and,” you have a plural subject, which means you need to use a plural verb.
            Please note though that this is not the case when you use “or” or “nor” with two nouns. The conjunctions “nor” and “or” show a choice between two objects while “and” acts to include two options.  Here are some examples:

            Japanese or Chinese is the language I will learn next.
            A pen or a pencil is often found in the bag of a writer.

            Oh but it’s not that easy.  Here comes another monkey wrench.  Don’t you love English?
            When a compound subject (meaning, a subject composed of more than one noun) contains both a singular and a plural noun or pronoun joined by “or” or “nor,” the verb should agree with the part of the subject that is nearer to the verb.
            What does this mean?  Perhaps the sentences below will illustrate the point better than my technical explanation.

            A sweater or socks are often needed in the winter to keep me warm.
            Socks or a sweater is often needed in the winter to keep me warm.
            Neither buckets of tea nor a sweater is going to keep me warm this winter.
            Neither ice nor 14 cold showers are going to keep me cool if I see Johnny Depp in person.

            All this being said, I think we get a better idea of what I mean by Subject-Verb-Agreement.  Now if only I could ensure my boss and co-workers would read this!  See you next time for another grammarian explication of hideous business English usage.