a

Confessions of a Food-a-Holic
By Claire Roberts
aaaaello, My name is Claire, and I am a Food-a-holic. Yes, I'm coming out of the pantry to confess unequivocally that I LOVE FOOD. Forget all that New Age, touchy-feely, Jenny Craig/Dr. Phil wisdom about emotional eating, boredom eating, eating to fill the holes in my life created by low self-esteem/anger/loneliness/the fact that I didn't get a perfect score on my SATs in high school. I don't mean to mock those theories; I'm sure they are all very valid and helpful and scientifically proven, and I admit I've been known to turn to ice cream for consolation when I've had a hard day, dark chocolate when work becomes stressful (or just tedious), and that I eat whatever snacks are in the car on long road trips even when I'm not hungry, simply to help pass the time. But the bottom line is that most of the time, I eat simply because I enjoy it, because it brings me pleasure. Because I just plain love food.
a aaaaMine has been a life-long love, going back as far as I can remember. I never hid cookies under my bed, or snuck down to the fridge for a snack in the middle of the night, but I did have a pronounced sweet tooth, and I always liked sandwiches and leftovers at any time of day or night, and I have a particular weakness for McDonald's French fries. I'm a big fan of cold cereal with milk. My pantry looks like the shelf above the sink in Jerry Seinfield's TV apartment, crowded with cereal boxes of all varieties. I start to panic when my supply dwindles to only three. And don't even get me started on the undiluted, gleeful anticipation I experience when faced with an all-you-can-eat brunch buffet.
aaaaLast fall when I went to Europe the arguable highlight of my trip was not visiting centuries-old forts, or gazing out the window at bucolic landscapes, or taking in fine art at the local museums; rather, it was the moment I stepped into a grocery store and beheld the full array of Europe's gastronomic genius. The breads! The cheeses! The pastries! The prepared foods! The dairy products! The chocolate! And again with the cheeses! I could barely move for a full minute, my awestruck mind on sensory overload as it rapidly calculated the various succulent combinations now available to me.
aaaaAnd while we're talking about cheese, let me tell you about the ingeniously delightful hors d'oeuvre I had at a schmoozy work function I went to last week. Tiny chunks of gorgonzola mixed into some sort of tart green-apple puree, spooned carefully onto little ovals of toasted bread. Pure heaven on the taste buds. Who knew moldy cheese and crusty bread could be so good?
aaaaNow don't let my ramblings about cheese and carbs fool you into thinking I'm only a foodie when it comes to processed or unhealthy foods. I get just as excited when I see colorfully arrayed displays of fruits and vegetables as when I'm standing in front of the deli counter at the grocery store. In fact, I've made a concerted effort to incorporate more fresh vegetables into my diet over the past couple of years, and now I feel a distinct deficit when I go a meal or two without them. Fruit, too, has become a staple snack and side dish, with everything from watermelon to pineapple to pears to mandarin oranges garnishing my lunch bag and countertop on a regular basis. I revel particularly in putting together unexpected combinations of fruits and vegetables in salads, creating novel flavor surprises that provide veritable entertainment for the palate during a meal. My especial favorite is spinach salad with candied almond slivers, sliced grape tomatoes, crumbled feta or gorgonzola, and mandarin oranges, topped with a light drizzling of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!
aaaaBecause I love food so much, I tend to form strong associations between food and certain people, places, or events in my life. For instance, I can't ever eat an orange stick--a chocolate stick with an orange-flavored gelatin-type center--without thinking of my Aunt Nancy, who always had them on-hand when we went to her house for Christmas Eve festivities. Tacos I associate with my dad, who used to make them for us for dinner when I was a little girl, and with his mother, my grandma, who taught him how to fry up the corn shells just right. She has taco parties for the whole family several times a year. I can't help but  

think of my mom whenever I eat Cream of Wheat. On cold winter mornings, I'd go into the kitchen for breakfast before school and see her standing at the stove in her blue bathrobe, carefully stirring Cream of Wheat in a pan to prevent any lumps from forming. She'd serve it to me in a little bowl with some milk and brown sugar. I loved to stir my spoon in slow circles around my bowl and watch the milk absorb and the brown sugar gradually melt into swirls of brown.
aaaaWhen I was a poor college student in New York City, I ate so much Kraft macaroni and cheese that I can't eat it anymore. I also associate Pop Tarts and bagels with my college days, as they were staples of my diet then. Broccoli somehow reminds me of junior year abroad in Paris, where I ate it nearly daily, usually steaming it in the microwave and then eating it dipped in a little mayonnaise. And when I lived in Holland, I had strawberry yogurt with granola for breakfast every day, and a few slices of "Licht Belegan" (aka Gouda) cheese with nearly all my other meals.
aaaaThen there are the foods I've had in my travels that I long for because I can't find them in the United States: Vla (pronounced "flah") from Holland; digestive cookies from Europe; real Nasi Goreng from Indonesia; authentic Pad Thai that's not spicy; crépes with Nutella, bought from a vendor on the streets of the 16éme; a certain type of hummus I found in Belgium; squeaky cheese I ate in the Middle East.
aaaaThe best sandwich I've ever had was purchased at a little bakery in the quaint town of Pitlochery, Scotland. It was on a big soft roll, made with thin slices of chicken, and tomatoes and lettuce of course. What made this sandwich the best, however, was the incredible sweet onion relish spread on the bread. I ate it while riding in the back seat of a rental car as we drove away from Pitlochery. I intended to eat only half, but the sandwich was so good, the flavors so intense and their nuances so unexpected, I couldn't put it away. I'm sure I didn't say one word the whole time I was eating, so completely did that sandwich capture my attention.
aaaaI know I'm not the only one out there who is a food-a-holic. I'm sure there are at least a few of you reading this article who also adore food for its own sake, even if you're not willing to admit it. And while I believe in moderation in all things, including food, I don't see my passion for food abating anytime in the near future. After all, who among us couldn't use a little more love in her life?