The Grammarian: Fun with English

Fun with English

love the English language. I think it's probably the hardest language to learn, at least of the languages I know. There is so much daily English that is slang it would be hard to actually figure out which of the things that we say aren't. I have been studying the acquisition of the English language for some time (one of my hobbies amongst what seems like a million others). In doing this I've begun to realize why so many people have trouble learning English.

My tutee is Korean and she wants to learn to speak English really well. She doesn't care if it's super grammatically Jane Austen correct. She wants to sound like "Friends". Originally, I thought "Friends" would
be a great way for her to learn how to understand different accents and tones since all the characters have very different intonations and speech patterns. I think it's still good for that but the complicated parts are explaining to a 21-year-old Korean girl what it means to "not be opposed to a threesome"!

When she bought that up in one session, all I could do was giggle nervously. "How the hell are you going to get out of this one, Angie?" I decided to explain the important part first. What does it mean to say "one is not opposed to something"? So I told her that you don't mind that thing. It's ok with you and doesn't bother you. That part she understood very quickly. Being a quick thinker, I moved onto the next phrase on her list, "get over him". But she stopped me before I could even get there. She wanted to know what a threesome was. Now, I was a little surprised that she didn't figure this out on her own. I know whenever I learn a language, I like to figure everything out before I ask anyone who is a native speaker about it. Plus, she's 21--doesn't she know about this stuff already? Shouldn't a parent be explaining this to her? Didn't this come up in one of her chats with friends?

Well, she wasn't budging so I decided to explain the meaning of the word "threesome". Let's just say that she had quite an epiphanic expression on her face that made me realize she understood exactly what I had just said.

On the other hand, how does one "get over" trying to explain something like that? It's not that I'm prudish about those types of discussion, but I always find it slightly uncomfortable to be the one to explain such things to others. I guess I'm getting over it by writing this article.

I told her that if someone doesn't like you any more and you had a fight, it can be upsetting and confusing, but if you've talked to the person and tried to explain yourself or have them explain and there was no change, then you had to just forget that person -- "get over" that person and realize that you weren't getting a good value from them anymore. Somehow she got it.

Along with "getting over" someone, she asked me what it meant to "get it over with". Here's where I explained to her that these are phrasal verbs and she gave me a blank stare. Damn it! Couldn't this session be a little more smoothly for me, the tired tutor? (To be fair, most native English-speakers have no idea what a phrasal verb is either.) I tried as simply as I could to explain that getting over someone or something is when you try not to make a big deal about it anymore. Usually this happens when you break up with someone or a bad situation arises. You try to forget or not think about the person or problem any more and continue living your life.

Then she asked me, "What things are a big deal?" That's when I wanted to run into the corner and be subjected to another sort of punishment. This session wasn't turning out to be anything like I had expected, as I am sure you could imagine.

I told her that "big deals" depend on the individual person. But she wanted to know if they were the same big deals as they had in department stores. I began to imagine myself banging my head against the table. When did being a tutor become so hard?

I explained that a "big deal" in a store is when something is very cheap, inexpensive. Being a good shopper, she got that one immediately. I began to realize I was dealing with a true shopper, and if I explained everything in shopping terms, I could maybe get other topics, sayings, jokes etc, across to her.

"How do you get it over with?" Oh My Goodness, I have such terrible karma!! I set up the hypothetical situation that you have a coupon for a store that you don't really like but you have a 50% coupon. I asked her what do you do? And she said, you go see what they have. I said exactly. It's not a store you love, or something you really want to do, but it's better to just give it a try and see. That's what it means to get something over with.

Now, I'm sure she's sitting there thinking she's going to be getting a lot more coupons in the mail but I hope she will get over that idea altogether.

--Angela Arlia




Fun with English love the English language. I think it's probably the hardest language to learn, at least of the languages I know. There is so much daily English that is slang it would be hard to actually figure out which of the things that we say aren't. I have been studying the acquisition of the English language for some time (one of my hobbies amongst what seems like a million others). In doing this I've begun to realize why so many people have trouble learning English. My tutee is Korean and she wants to learn to speak English really well. She doesn't care if it's super grammatically Jane Austen correct. She wants to sound like "Friends". Originally, I thought "Friends" would be a great way for her to learn how to understand different accents and tones since all the characters have very different intonations and speech patterns. I think it's still good for that but the complicated parts are explaining to a 21-year-old Korean girl what it means to "not be opposed to a threesome"! When she bought that up in one session, all I could do was giggle nervously. "How the hell are you going to get out of this one, Angie?" I decided to explain the important part first. What does it mean to say "one is not opposed to something"? So I told her that you don't mind that thing. It's ok with you and doesn't bother you. That part she understood very quickly. Being a quick thinker, I moved onto the next phrase on her list, "get over him". But she stopped me before I could even get there. She wanted to know what a threesome was. Now, I was a little surprised that she didn't figure this out on her own. I know whenever I learn a language, I like to figure everything out before I ask anyone who is a native speaker about it. Plus, she's 21--doesn't she know about this stuff already? Shouldn't a parent be explaining this to her? Didn't this come up in one of her chats with friends? Well, she wasn't budging so I decided to explain the meaning of the word "threesome". Let's just say that she had quite an epiphanic expression on her face that made me realize she understood exactly what I had just said. On the other hand, how does one "get over" trying to explain something like that? It's not that I'm prudish about those types of discussion, but I always find it slightly uncomfortable to be the one to explain such things to others. I guess I'm getting over it by writing this article. I told her that if someone doesn't like you any more and you had a fight, it can be upsetting and confusing, but if you've talked to the person and tried to explain yourself or have them explain and there was no change, then you had to just forget that person -- "get over" that person and realize that you weren't getting a good value from them anymore. Somehow she got it. Along with "getting over" someone, she asked me what it meant to "get it over with". Here's where I explained to her that these are phrasal verbs and she gave me a blank stare. Damn it! Couldn't this session be a little more smoothly for me, the tired tutor? (To be fair, most native English-speakers have no idea what a phrasal verb is either.) I tried as simply as I could to explain that getting over someone or something is when you try not to make a big deal about it anymore. Usually this happens when you break up with someone or a bad situation arises. You try to forget or not think about the person or problem any more and continue living your life. Then she asked me, "What things are a big deal?" That's when I wanted to run into the corner and be subjected to another sort of punishment. This session wasn't turning out to be anything like I had expected, as I am sure you could imagine. I told her that "big deals" depend on the individual person. But she wanted to know if they were the same big deals as they had in department stores. I began to imagine myself banging my head against the table. When did being a tutor become so hard? I explained that a "big deal" in a store is when something is very cheap, inexpensive. Being a good shopper, she got that one immediately. I began to realize I was dealing with a true shopper, and if I explained everything in shopping terms, I could maybe get other topics, sayings, jokes etc, across to her. "How do you get it over with?" Oh My Goodness, I have such terrible karma!! I set up the hypothetical situation that you have a coupon for a store that you don't really like but you have a 50% coupon. I asked her what do you do? And she said, you go see what they have. I said exactly. It's not a store you love, or something you really want to do, but it's better to just give it a try and see. That's what it means to get something over with. Now, I'm sure she's sitting there thinking she's going to be getting a lot more coupons in the mail but I hope she will get over that idea altogether. --Angela Arlia