Disappearing Act
By Claire Roberts

aaaaa few days ago, I was rushing through an airport, fretting that I wouldn't make it to my gate on-time, when I saw something so appalling in a store window that I nearly stopped in my tracks. It was so offensive, in fact, that I wanted to rush into the store right then to lodge a complaint, and follow that up with a letter to the company's head office and their publicist. What I saw was so unbelievably wrong that I was literally twitching with disgust as I continued my mad dash to the gate. (I did make my flight, by the way. I'm sure you're relieved to hear that.) The display item that made me cringe so was nothing more than a sign, advertising a new facial cream or moisturizer or topical ointment something of that sort. Frankly, I was so bothered by the product description that I didn't pay much attention to the item itself. The offensive slogan? The product was touted as being "age defying"--written without a hyphen. I know you are as offended as I am by this blatant disregard for correct punctuation in advertising. Well, some of you are; the rest of you are screwing up your faces wondering where the error is and thinking I obviously need a long vacation in some tropical land where there is no written language at all. You are probably right about that.
aaaaaMy vacation needs notwithstanding, I'm very sad to report that the friendly little punctuation mark known as the hyphen is doing a rapid disappearing act in our country. Everywhere I look, it's being recklessly omitted, leaving me and other concerned Americans to wonder what exactly is meant by the phrases used car salesman (is the car salesman himself used, or just the cars he's selling?); the superfluous hair remover (is the hair remover itself superfluous, or does it remove superfluous hair?); extra marital sex (more sex in the marriage, or sex outside the marriage?); the one of a kind car (is it a kind car, or a unique car?)…. The list is endless.
aaaaaNow, I realize that everyone is not a grammar freak like I am, but that's no excuse for poor punctuation, especially when it comes to using a hyphen. Seriously people! This one isn't that hard! It's not nearly as hard as, say, correctly conjugating the verb "To Lie" (did I lay or lie down in my bed last night?), or trying to figure out when to use a semi-colon instead of a comma, or even remembering which words don't follow the "I before E except after C" rule.
aaaaaSo to make it easy, I'm going to give you a couple of simple rules to follow whenever you're not sure about whether to hyphenate or not. There are actually many instances in which a hyphen is important, and they are all beautifully enumerated in Lynn Truss's most excellent book about punctuation, Eats, Shoots & Leaves. I'm going to focus on three of the reasons in her list, the three which I think are most often ignored.

aaaaa1. Use a hyphen to avoid ambiguity. This is seen in the examples above (used-car salesman, superfluous-hair remover, extra-marital sex, one-of-a-kind car) as well as phrases such as: all-new episode; caffeine-free Coke; low-fat ice cream; three-year-old child; slow-moving traffic; lead-based paint; ready-to-wear clothing.
aaaaa2. A hyphen is needed when you are using two or more nouns together (called a noun phrase) as an adjective to describe another noun. This rule is similar to the first, in that it helps remove ambiguity. Some examples: 15-minute parking (both "15" and "minute" are nouns, but together they describe the parking); self-storage facility; three-o'clock movie; stainless-steel knives; 19th-century writer; million-dollar baby. Noun phrases that are not adjectives still require hyphens, as in Hertz Rent-A-Car and Commander-In-Chief. (Yes, Gina Davis's TV series is incorrectly punctuated. Its editors should be barred from Hollywood.)
aaaaa3. The hyphen is also used when connecting a prefix, such as "multi" or "non", to another word to make an adjective, as in: multi-storey building; ultra-modern gym equipment; non-cancerous tumor; anti-American demonstration.

aaaaaWhen using the hyphen to link descriptive words (rule number two), pay attention to the words you are linking, because there's a rude little subtlety here. A hyphen is not needed when the first of the describing words is an adverb (usually a word ending in "ly"), that answers the question "How?" For example, you do not need a hyphen when you are describing how well a product was made (well made, poorly made, horribly made, etc); how absurd, funny, sad, offensive, etc., something is (a hilariously funny book, a tragically sad situation, appallingly bad manners, really large front teeth, highly aggressive approach, etc.). You get the idea.
aaaaaWhile I feel compelled to do my part to maintain the integrity of our written language, I must realistically concede that the hyphen may not be around much longer. Nevertheless, I hope at least a few people will think twice next time they are tempted to write "oven baked pizza" without the hyphen. And while I'm waiting for my words to have such an impact, I'm going to plan that vacation to a tropical land where there are no signs at all. I think an all-inclusive, custom-tailored vacation package would be good, don't you?