Deal or No Deal Dating
By Melissa Busse

aaaaThe Howie Mandel game show, "Deal or No Deal," is on too often for me to make time to be a dedicated spectator. But, with it being premiere week as I write this, and the big cases being offered at up to $7 million instead of the normal $1 million, I decided to put it on in the background last night after I got home from a church activity to make cleaning the kitchen a little less mundane. And, as the high school football coach and cute brunette wife, respectively, played the game with their football team and family cheering them on, I was struck with yet another dating analogy.... I will call it "Deal or No Deal Dating."
	aa	aaaaBoth dating and the namesake TV game show are inherent games of risk. They both involve continuing a process until you feel you've reached a satisfying point. You receive an acceptable offer from the banker. You find someone that makes you happy. You make the deal. You book a reception hall and a honeymoon. Simple enough. aaaaHowever, the success of the show and, ironically, the trending UNsuccess of the dating process in America are both due to human behavior and our responses to risk. The angst contestants experience each time they have to decide to press the button and take the deal, or cover it back up and
forge on, is the very personal reaction to risk and stress and wondering, "Is this the best I can do, or is there something better in store for me?" Howie always shows them what was in their initial case in the remaining unopened cases to see if the contestants have made a "good" deal or a "bad" deal. Unfortunately, we get no such transparency in the world of dating. aaaaSure, there may be the absolute PERFECT match, a $7 million-case kind, if you will, out there. But what are the odds of you ending up with that case? Conversely, is it wise to take the first offer that comes, when you haven't been in the game long enough to get your bearings? Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, who played the dating game and got married has made this decision. They have all rejected offers (assuming they didn't marry their first elementary school crush) and they all have unopened cases that will remain a mystery. But, they made a decision. aaaaThis made me wonder about my own "cases" of the past. Times that perhaps I could have pressed the "DEAL" button. Times when the banker extended a deal and then the offer was rescinded. Cases I wanted to open that were welded shut. I bet we are all quick to see our own rendition of the game, infinitely more complicated than the NBC version. But the fact remains, it's a game of risk. Do the constant stats of divorce, continual media representations of dysfunctional families, and perhaps bad examples of people we know, make us fear risk beyond what we once did? And, if so, is it right to let outside forces interfere with what we know we are capable of inside? (I would argue, No.) aaaaI wonder if any research has been done to determine the risk-taking levels of married vs. unmarried people (of similar age and educational status). I wonder if we'd find that those who are still single have a natural aversion to risk. Or, perhaps, it's the other way around. Either way... here's hoping those of us who haven't made a deal yet follow our gut, stay true to ourselves, love openly and above all, don't waste all our cases to find, in the end, that we have no deal at all.

**Do you have an experience with Deal or No Deal Dating that you'd like to share with our readers in an upcoming issue? Please send your story to thirtyonemag@yahoo.com. Thanks!